And this was indeed the experience i had this week. During worship yesterday, this flash back jus suddenly came back to me, so i stop and reflect on it.
The story begins lik that : As u know i m very prone to aciddent in chem lab and i screwed up lab 3 really badly.So i got a Pass for that lab. I didnt complain much cos i thought i deserve wat i got. But for lab 4 & 5, i have been praying to God that he'll help me in my lab. So everyweek, i went there prepared. Read the procedures more than twice to be sure what i did was right. But this week, when i got back my lab book, i was really disappointed. I got Credit. I know its not that bad, but i was hoping for a Distinction. And i felt that i didnt do anything to deserve a Credit. My yeild wasnt low at all, and every time the demonstator walked passed, he said the colour of my ethanoic acid looks really beautiful and i only got a 1/2 mark for 1 question. Unfortunately my demonstators have left for a tour in Europe. So i had a replacement this week, i had no choice but to ask him wat was wrong with my labwork. So during the lab, he checked my lab book and while he was doing so, in my mind, i was telling God.."um, God? you make the decision for me. If you think i deserve a D,then pls give me a D. If not i ll stick with my CR." But i what i really wanted is for the demonstator to change the CR into a D. When the demonstator started pointing out my mistake, and told me that why he thinks my actual demonstator gave CR and it was reasonable. I was angry and sad. I did blame God for a sec. Lik" Why God didnt you make him change my grades?"
And that's what happen. Although i told God that i wanted His way in my brain, but inside my heart i didnt want it all. I wanted MY WAY not God's. That's how sometime we stop God from entering our lives. I want MY WAY but think about it. Is God's WAY or my way better?God is the creator of the earth. He knows things better than me. So why am I taking control when i know so little of the world around me? I am really glad that God has sent me to cell to learn more about him and to talk about Him. All this while, i was very shy to share about my faith in Christ. This shall be the my goal this year and the years to come" Let God be my decision make in life."
It's easier said than done. I believe its a slow journey for me
(perhaps u too) to let go of myself(yourslef) so that more of God can grow in me(you).
One more thing, this week's cell was oso very revelant to my stories. we learnt about our value in Christ and how we see our value on earth. I dont need to get perfect score in exams,tests or labs to be valueable in God's eyes. He loves me the way i am. All i have to do (that includes you guys who are reading) jus do your best in everything you. Although our best might not be THE VERY BEST, but it is in God's eyes. =)
I know lots of my fren's in msia are having the time of their life now. Exams are over for you guys! Enjoy your holidays=)
For frens in perth, Study hard ya! And all the best for the exams to come!=) Jia you oo!
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